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1. Spot the Mask: Relentless Noticing
Instructions:
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Notice situations where you slip into a particular persona, story, or habit, especially under pressure, pride, insecurity, or fear.
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Ask yourself:
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How do I introduce myself to new people?
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What roles do I lean on when I’m unsure or want to impress? When did I last exaggerate, shrink, or perform for approval?
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Example:
After a tense work meeting, you catch yourself thinking, “I’m always the fixer, if I don’t solve things, I’m useless.”
At a party, you find yourself bragging about your job, hoping for respect.
What to do:
Jot these masks down. Don’t judge, just list them:
“Fixer,” “Overachiever,” “Victim,” “Funny One,” “Peacemaker.”
Why “Spot the Mask: Relentless Noticing” Matters
This step is the foundation, nothing else works without it. If you can’t see the masks you wear, every act of “self-inquiry” will just be your ego shifting costumes, never risking the real exposure. Here’s why practice in spotting masks is essential:
1. Reveals Hidden Programming
Most of your behaviour is on autopilot. The identities you slip into (“fixer,” “victim,” “responsible one”) are unconscious habits, learned for survival or approval. By noticing them in real time, you start to see just how much of your life is driven by old scripts, not by chosen, authentic living.
2. Unmasks the Source of Suffering
Your unease, exhaustion, or inauthenticity? Usually, it’s from trying to force yourself into roles you think you “should” play, or hiding parts you think will get you rejected. The moment you see this happening (e.g., bragging to feel worthy, shrinking to avoid conflict), you realize: the pain isn’t life, it’s in wearing the mask.
3. Breaks the Spell of Performance
By tracking when and why you slip into performance, you begin to loosen the grip those roles have on you. The act of jotting masks down turns unconscious habit into conscious choice, robbing old patterns of their automatic power.
4. Opens the Door to Honesty
Radical honesty with yourself begins only after you admit where you’ve been faking, even to yourself. This step builds the muscle of candor that the entire process relies on.
5. Gives You a Map for Deeper Inquiry
Every mask you spot is a starting point for further interrogation: “Is it true?” “How does this serve me?” Without accurate spotting, you’re just wandering in circles, missing the real issues.
The Benefit:
You reclaim authorship over your life.
Instead of living someone else’s script, or reflexively becoming who others want you to be, you step into your own direct, honest awareness. Spotting the mask doesn’t just expose discomfort; it’s the first (and necessary) move toward real freedom, depth, and integration.
In other words:
Until you admit you’re wearing a mask, you stand no chance of ever taking it off.